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The benefits of talking are not apparent to many people. Since I am a psychologist, it is obvious to me how talking helps people.


My eyes were focused on her and her feelings became my feelings.

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A question can either kick off a conversation or keep it going, Sandstrom says. Smeone gives people an opportunity to tell their story, and, in the telling, they find relief and a quieting of their emotions. I have many stories of how people benefit from talking, but the story that follows is one I will never forget.

Audio CD. Research actually suggests that people who ask more questions are better liked by their conversation partners than people who ask fewer questions.

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Frequently, what has happened to us cannot be changed, such as when someone we love dies, a tragic accident occurs or we have learned we have a terrible illness. There is a branch of psychology that believes behavior can be changed by changing the way yo think. At these times, we walk around feeling emotionally charged up and filled with tension. I did nothing but listen.

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Old thoughts that are counterproductive are erased and new thoughts that are positive and constructive are entered into the mind. Focusing the attention on the other person in those moments can help us get past those awkward spots, she says. We find ourselves stuck in a state of despair and pain. The client is encouraged to somelne an inventory of the negative thoughts that pop into her mind throughout a normal day.

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Since I am a psychologist, it is obvious to me how talking helps people. But as we talk, we hear ourselves express feelings and information that have not been expressed before.

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However, the benefits of talking are not apparent to many people. By Kenneth N. There is a word that captures how talking helps—catharsis.

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Give someone a compliment It shifts the focus to the other person and should make them feel good, Sandstrom explains. It is this experience of hearing ourselves that allows us at times to suddenly think of what to do.

Discussing suicide: how to talk to somebody about suicide

The charged feelings within us become less charged. In my practice, I ask people a lot of questions to keep them talking about what troubles them so they might discover their own solution.

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When these experiences descend upon us, we feel emotionally frozen. For the next two months, this mother arrived for her appointment each week.

Be curious Ask questions. Many times when we talk with a friend, a family member or a therapist, we are stuck. The benefits of talking are not dith to many people.

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Our fear assumptions fail to take into the social norms of politeness, Schroeder says. When our last session ended, she stood up, grabbed my hand and thanked me for helping her. She related that after a prolonged illness with cancer, her year-old son died. At these times, talking can help. Very often, they are surprised how they suddenly think of how to solve the problem.

Nothing has changed that caused the suffering in our lives, but talking has ralk off some of the pain and this brings relief. She was so appreciative. I listened.

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The client is then encouraged someoje talk to herself during the day by repeating these statements. Research shows the opposite, however, that people nearly always are willing to engage in a conversation when prompted by someone else. Talking le to new solutions Talking helps in other ways, too.

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I could see the despair and grief she was feeling. You get better at asking better questions, and answering with more interesting responses. Years ago, a woman in her late 40s arrived in my office.

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She researches how people navigate their social worldsincluding how language and mental capacity sokeone interactions. At times I smiled with her and at times my eyes, like her eyes, were filled with tears. It is a lot like re-programming a computer. Then the therapist and client together work out a series of positive statements to counteract the negative statements.

A solution pops into our mind.

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